Photo and Commentary ©2024 by Maylan Schurch
Sabbath, February 10, 2024

This week while drifting through a bookstore I spotted this box, and immediately picked it up and hefted it. The first thing I noticed was that the box was light—no typewriter inside. But I gazed hungrily at the illustration, and the more I analyzed it, the more realistic it looked. “Isn’t that cute?” I thought. “Lego has developed a working typewriter as a tribute to days of yore.” As you might be able to see, the box cover has two smaller photos, one of which shows an actual piece of paper in the typewriter, with human fingers poised over the keys.

I pulled up more facts about the typewriter on my phone, and its price (roughly $250) reinforced my thought that it was real, and that a person might be able to actually type on it. I saw no traditional Lego building blocks as part of its construction.

However, once I’d pulled up more info about it, I discovered that no, it’s not a real typewriter after all! Part of its promo says it’s a “conversation piece,” a hint that that’s all it is. You’d never be able to write the Great American Novel on it.

But what sealed my thinking about it most firmly was that the more I studied the photo, the more I could tell how fake it was. And the reason was that years ago I myself actually used manual and electric typewriters, before personal computers were even invented.

In fact, I have two ancient portable typewriters up in my attic. They still work, but the ribbons are fading. And what is most poignant is that the attic is where they’ve been, ever since we moved into the house 18 years ago. There is no reason to bring them down to my home office and type anything with them. And I certainly don’t need to unleash 250 bucks for a non-working model of a device I have rejected in favor of better (though less nostalgic) technology!

Okay, where’s the parable here? Too many people are trying to make it to a happy or at least more placid afterlife using fascinating but decidedly old-fashioned tools: astrology, the occult, sun-worship, spells, tarot cards, runes, and so on. These are the ABG tools – “Anybody But God.” Like the above “typewriter,” they may be intriguing (and of course there’s nothing morally or spiritually wrong with this Lego product), but they just don’t work.

What does work to get you safely beyond your funeral? Check out the Bible verses at the links below: