Photo and Commentary ©2024 by Shelley Schurch
Sunday, October 20, 2024
He was standing in the little garden spot between his front step and the sidewalk my husband and I were standing on, stretching a bit from the weeding he’d been doing before we stopped to greet him.
We didn’t know him well, a neighbor several blocks from our cul-de-sac, but always found him friendly. As we all enthused about the beautiful day, I told him how much I appreciated his red-leaved bush, especially against the intense blue of the sky. I’ve taken many photos of it.
“Really?” he said, and made his way through the garden to where we were standing. He gazed with us at the sight you see in my photo above. “That is nice,” he agreed. “I only look at it from the other side, so I’ve never seen it like this.”
I was amazed that he had missed a view I’d admired year after year. I didn’t ask if I could stand on his front step to see his view of the bush, but I didn’t need to. Just by turning around I could see that his view of the bush would have a background filled in mostly by the house across the street. Not as picturesque as my view. Not as lovely.
We continued on with our walk, and that was that.
Until a few days later when I looked at the photo again, and thought about our different points of view. Probably because we’re in a heightened state of polarization in our country, I thought wistfully how calm our neighborly conversation had been.
Of course, the subject of our conversation was benign, how we see a bush and its beyond. But I still wondered what it would take for me to have as congenial a conversation with someone who held an opposing view from me on much more weighty issues.
Could I be curious as to why they thought and felt the way they did, without telling them (maybe only in my head) that they were feeling more than thinking? And that they were flat out wrong? Could I talk – and listen — without raising my voice and my blood pressure?
I am fairly certain that the answer is, “No.” I don’t think I can do that, by myself. Only by the grace of God can I extend grace to someone else.
The Old Testament book of Proverbs contains so many pithy comments on human behavior and misbehavior. Here are a few, found in Proverbs 18 (NIV) that comment on wisdom and folly concerning true knowledge and understanding:
Verse 2:
Fools find no pleasure in understanding
but delight in airing their own opinions.
Verse 13:
To answer before listening —
that is folly and shame.
Verse 15:
The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge,
for the ears of the wise seek it out.
As we step out into this brand-new week, may God grant us the grace of kind and clear communication, from hearts and minds curious to truly listen to others so that we may better understand their hearts and minds.